Is it just me, or is there some small comfort in the fact that we as a society – and dare I say, the world at large – are all collectively experiencing the shitshow that is 2020 together?
We have all experienced rough times in our lives; that is a fundamental part of the human experience. We cannot know joy if we do not also know pain. But I do not know of a single person who can say, “You know, this has been a pretty great year. I’m completely fine.” The stress of change, uncertainty, isolation, and fear have affected us all to varying degrees and in different ways, but no one is immune.
2020 feels like an extreme social experiment designed to study what happens to participants when their long-held comforts, familiarity, and routines are torn away. Here’s an example that’s not personal to me but is still grieving me – we recently lost Alex Trebek. No, I didn’t know him personally, but his loss resonates with me because of what he represented. He was a fixture in our living room every evening at 7:00 pm since I was old enough to remember. My Grandmom and I spent hours playing along and keeping score, and when dementia took her ability to play or even speak, it was Dad and I who played, sitting in the nursing home with her. In recent months we made it a point to watch and play together several times a week, feeling comfort in the nostalgia of it. It became a bright spot in dreary evenings, shut up in the house day after day. And just like that, another vestige of home, a cord to the time my family was whole and together, quietly slips away.
Some people complain about wearing a mask in public, lamenting the discomfort. I welcome the excuse to not have to fake a smile to a world I am often days too weary to even venture out in.
There is truth to the adage “Misery loves company.” And for better or worse, we’re all in this together. So while the difficulties are many, let’s take a moment to examine some of the comforting side effects that have come from experiencing this dumpster fire together.
Increased Empathy
Some people struggle to have empathy if they have not experienced a situation themselves. It is much easier to keep in mind to “be kind because everyone you meet is fighting some great battle” when you are in the midst of one yourself. But with a situation this universal and life-altering most people are struggling in one way or another, and so it behooves us to have a little extra patience when dealing with others. Grief and discomfort can soften us in a way few things have the ability to.
Awareness of Mental Health Needs
Have you noticed an increase in the amount of ads for counseling services? Or the reminders on social media that “It’s okay to not be okay?” Isolation has brought a dramatic increase in stress, depression, and anxiety rates, and with this a public health crisis. While mental health issues have historically carried a certain amount of stigma, the more common the conversation becomes the faster the stigma fades. Taking care of one’s mental health is now being touted as tantamount to caring for one’s bodily health, which could have far-reaching positive effects long after quarantine is over.
Ingenuity
Overnight, we have had to adapt and find new ways to function as a society. Jobs transformed into work-from-home, retail developed new sanitizing strategies, and brand-new industries sprung up overnight to fill in the gaps that formed between industry and customer as restrictions grew. Many of these solutions are likely to remain ingrained in the fabric of our reality, giving companies new and safer ways to serve their customers going forward. Technology has pioneered ways of staying connected across any distance imaginable that were either under-utilized or non-existent only a few years ago.
Bonding Time
While quarantining within your household certainly has it’s own stressors, it also offers some unique opportunities for bonding time. With outside distractions stripped away, people find creative ways to stay entertained within their homes. Quality time with children has increased. Opportunities to learn new skills – or simply binge watch shows we’ve been meaning to check out – present themselves. Shared experiences during stressful times can be quite bonding.
Appreciation for What We Take for Granted
Going out to eat. Concerts. Large family gatherings. Socializing at the bar. Visiting with the grandchildren. Chatting around the water cooler. Hugs. There are so many facets of every day life that have changed overnight that seemed so customary that life suddenly feels hollow without them. Nothing rings the bell of gratitude faster than feeling the absence of something we didn’t understand the value of until it is gone.
Perhaps, when we reach a point where we no longer have to live in avoidance of this virus, we can carry these lessons with us. Perhaps we will emerge from our isolation a little kinder, a little more in touch, a little closer, and a lot more thankful. Our “new normal” can be whatever we make it. Let’s make it those things.
Experience the world of 1908 and get a glimpse of Victorian death customs in my novel, The Persistence of Vision, available on Amazon in paperback and on Kindle.
Read more at LisaGery.com
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